Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean???
Now I see why, because it’s too ethereal
I started a new project on my patreon. It’s a collection of drawings celebrating rest & joy. I’m trying to create the softest warmest art collection online. You can check it out here.
So my thirteen year old brother always asks to use my video camera. And I never knew why. But today I opened iMovie for the first time in months and THIS IS WHAT I FOUND.
I’M GOING TO FUCKING ASPHYXIATE
are those two dudes from supernatural ok? it’s been like 14 years. there’s high schoolers younger than their contract. i don’t think i’ve ever seen them in any other shows. are they allowed to leave? do they feed them?
when supernatural began airing:
tumblr wouldnt exist for another two years
bush was still president
lost hadn’t aired its second season yet
youtube wasnt even a year old
the #1 song was kanye west - gold digger
ariana grande was 12
taylor swift wasn’t famous yet
paris hilton was at the height of her fame, kim k was not famous yet
jesus christ
fourteen years ago, I still believed in academia
I don’t care what anyone says, being intelligent is so fucking attractive. Like yes, tell me random facts I didn’t know. I’ll think it’s the cutest thing ever.
I’m a sapiosexual
it was long assumed that peacocks’ crests were decorational, but researchers discovered they play another important function. both the crests of peafowl and the tail fans of male peacocks vibrate at the same frequency; when a male displays his tail feathers in a mating display, nearby females are able to feel the vibrations through their crests.
Male peacock: *fans tail*
Female peacock: “My hot guy sense is tingling.”
The same generation who say this generation is “too sensitive” are the same generation that couldn’t handle sharing a water fountain with someone with a different skin tone
One of the hardest things about a breakup is realizing you might never see their dog again, and he/she won’t ever know why.
Movie Santas Ranked
1. Rankin/Bass Santa
Stop motion from the 1970s. Ancient and all knowing in his jerky movements and wildly spinning.eyes. Orphaned under mysterious circumstances, raised by elves in the woods. Unfamiliar with human customs. Pure of heart.
6/10 Santas
2. Nightmare Before Christmas Santa
Needs a fucking vacation. Takes no shit. May never trust children again. Will bitch slap a skeleton if needed and invite his gf to tea.
11/10 Santas
3. Netflix’s Christmas Chronicles Santa (or, Kurt Russell Santa)
Potent sexual energy, more than any santa should ever have. Has the ugliest elves ever, all of them disturbing crosses of a cat, Gremlin, and rodent-like creature. Historically, if this santa doesn’t do his job, wars literally happen as a result (remember WWI? Apparently this guy didn’t finish his deliveries all 4 years). Does crime and kidnaps children and actually ends up in jail.
3/10 Santas
4. Rise of the Guardians Santa
The most powerful Santa, but also the most vulnerable. Can snap Kurt Russell Santa over his knee. Is Russian. Carries two literal scimitars to cut a bitch down to size. But must rely on children believing in him to stay alive.
10/10 Santas
5. Tim Allen Santa
The most lethal santa of all, murdered his way to the top. committed the egregious sin of being played by tim allen
2/10 Santas for childhood nostalgia
Y’all forgot about A Christmas Story Santa
Rating: -1/10 Santas
Have to share my favorite:
7. Robot Santa Claus
He’s a four-ton murderbot designed by The Friendly Robot Company in 2801 to judge people naughty or nicе and distribute rewards accordingly. Due to a programming error, his standards were set way too high, and Santa Bot invariably judges everyone very naughty.
eleventy-one / 10 Santas for transforming Christmas Eve into an annual horrorshow.